A Day In the Life, December 17, 2020 | Anela Deisler Photography

Dear December 17, 2021,

How did we do? Did I get to hug my friends? Did the kids get to play? Did they do okay in school? Did we stay healthy? Are we all still here? Have things gotten better? Have those who feel the pain of a knee on a neck in ways I can’t imagine felt steps towards more air? Have I found ways that can actually help us all move towards justice? Was going back to life exciting and joyful or scary and stressful? Maybe all the things. I bet all of it is all the things.

You see dear 12/17/19, I can’t even imagine you. And I can’t imagine a year ago when we were on airplanes, at concerts, having parties. The faintness of my memories feels as blurry as the possibility of what we once had returning. And with that I feel this deep frustration with it all. And I worry that I was blind to some of the most beautiful parts of life that were right in front of me. I think of the time that has passed in this holding space. Inches marking growth on the wall, new shoes, haircuts. I fear that I missed it while I was waiting.

So dear 12/17/21, I hope that this version of you looks back with gratitude for all that has happened and with peace for what these days looked like. I hope that the kids look back and remember feeling loved. I hope that the stress of it all lifts and the joy that connects us, although fleeting in the days, is the fullest part of our memories.

With hope,

December 17, 2020